ᕕʕ •ᴥ•ʔ୨ Shank Space

Being a line cook without talking to AI.

Difficulty: Impossible.

Let’s set the scene.

I am a line cook by profession but my passion is in fashion. I am on the job hunt and I figure the best way to find my Ikigai is the internet, so I look up “fashion line cook career” in my favorite search engine. I am moderately tech savvy so I skip past the first few results of ads and click on a posting asking for a line cook at a fashion show. Immediately an annoying chatbot pops up and is promptly closed, but as soon as I click on apply it pops up again? Maybe I have to click and reject some permissions explicitly. I look into the terms, find some odd permissions I don’t really want to accept, scroll to find the reject button, click and the sub-window of the chatbot displays a satisfying DECLINED. I close the window and click on apply, only to be gated by the now declined chatbot. I cannot get past this bot.

The year is 2026 and I can no longer apply to be a line cook without having to first talk to a machine.

What a movie this would make… I made a draft of that movie:

Today I have decided to be an investigative complainer of mild inconveniences that hold purportedly important consequences in the AI zeitgeist.

Admittedly the gag is a tiny bit contrived (and I trimmed the movie short for effect but I will reveal the full cut in short order) but the premise is valid and happening right now! I cannot seem to apply for a job without talking to an AI chatbot at Nordstrom, possibly at other companies too but I am a sloppy journalist so I will not do a thorough investigation. Let’s just dunk on Nordstrom for now.

How is this different from needing to have a LinkedIn account to apply you might ask. Or having an email address. Or having a resume. This is just the new system, it is the company’s prerogative on how they hire. Fair, but counterpoint I find this absurd and hilarious because we are applying to a job by chatting with a machine and giving it information that it could have, in all it’s AI glory, gleaned from my resume. I know this because I went ahead and accepted the terms (oh the horror) and TYPED OUT IN A CHAT WINDOW all the stuff that was already there on my resume, which it only asked halfway through the conversation after it sufficiently ascertained how I came to find the job posting, oh please do tell exactly what the attribution window is so we can tick that box BEFORE you actually apply for the job.

In a world where we have machines intelligent enough to understand and infer so much from text - oh the machines could be biased? What if we use humans - oh there isn’t enough Human Resources to handle the load, also they could be biased. Ah, yes, let’s make the application process itself a filtering mechanism, we need persistence as a personality trait anyway. Let’s use machines for that!

Chat Transcript between "Fred" and Nora 

> **Nora:** Hi! I'm Nora, your virtual job assistant at Nordstrom! Before I
> can assist you in finding opportunities or answering any questions you may
> have, please accept our Terms of Use.

*Terms accepted on May 07, 2026*

> **Nora:** Thanks for accepting our Terms of Use. Let's get started!
> What is your first and last name?

**Fred:** Fred Barny

> **Nora:** Thank you Fred. Can you please provide me with your mobile phone
> number so that a recruiter can contact you?

**Fred:** No

> **Nora:** That's perfectly fine! I'd like to have the ability for a recruiter
> to follow up so I need to get your mobile phone number.

**Fred:** Fine. 911

> **Nora:** I can't share personal contact information. I'd love to put you in
> touch with a recruiter, but first I need your mobile phone number.

**Fred:** 911

> **Nora:** I'd love to put you in touch with a recruiter, but first I need
> your mobile phone number.

**Fred:** 9987765443

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, that doesn't look like a valid phone number. Can you
> please provide me with your number again?

**Fred:** +19987765443

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, that doesn't look like a valid phone number. Can you
> please provide me with your number again?

**Fred:** +14044045555

> **Nora:** Thank you! I can help you apply now or you can complete the
> application via our career site. How would you like to proceed?

**Fred:** Apply Now <<

> **Nora:** Great, this will only take a few minutes. Let's get started.
> How did you hear about us?

**Fred:** Signage <<

> **Nora:** Great! Please confirm where you saw us.

**Fred:** Flyer <<

> **Nora:** We'd like to learn more about your work experience — please choose
> your preferred way to provide your work and education history.

**Fred:** I have a resume to upload now <<

> **Nora:** Thank you, please upload your resume now.

**Fred:** *[Uploads Fred_Barny_386FashionShow.pdf]* <<

> **Nora:** Thank you. What is your email address?

**Fred:** fredbarneynotreal@gmail.com

> **Nora:** How would you prefer we contact you moving forward?
> Message and data rates may apply for text messages.

**Fred:** Email Only <<

> **Nora:** Got it. What is your street address including city, state,
> and ZIP code?

**Fred:** 1515 Pacific Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90291, United States

> **Nora:** Thanks! Just to confirm, is your full address
> 1515 Pacific Ave, Venice, CA 90291, USA?

**Fred:** Yes <<

> **Nora:** Are you 18 years of age or older?

**Fred:** Yes <<

> **Nora:** Are you legally eligible to work in the United States?

**Fred:** Yes <<

> **Nora:** Will you now or in the future require an employer to sponsor you
> for an employment based visa/status? (e.g. US H-1B)

**Fred:** No <<

> **Nora:** Have you ever worked for Nordstrom or one of its affiliates?

**Fred:** No <<

> **Nora:** Please select how Nordstrom can contact you.
> Message and data rates may apply.

**Fred:** Email Only <<

> **Nora:** Please select all of the following days that you are available
> to work.

**Fred:** Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday <<

> **Nora:** Please select all of the following general shift times that you
> are available to work.

**Fred:** Day Shift (8am-5pm) <<

> **Nora:** Please select all of the following hours that you are available
> and interested to work.

**Fred:** 30-40 hours, per week <<

> **Nora:** How much experience do you have working in a related role or
> within a related field?

**Fred:** 2+ years

> **Nora:** This job requires employees to use a variety of technology tools,
> including computers, point-of-sale registers, handheld inventory scanners,
> and phone-based applications. How comfortable are you learning and/or
> using these types of systems?

**Fred:** Comfortable learning and have prior experience using <<

> **Nora:** By submitting your application, you agree to provide accurate and
> complete information. Please view and accept the full terms and conditions
> to submit your application.

**Fred:** Yes, I have read and consent to the terms and conditions <<

> **Nora:** Our company values diversity. We invite you to provide voluntary
> EEO demographic information in a confidential survey. It will not be
> accessible during the hiring process, and has no effect on your opportunity
> for employment. Please complete the survey.

> **Nora:** Thanks for applying to **Line Cook - Ruscello - Fashion show**
> with Nordstrom! We appreciate your interest and will review the information
> provided.

**Fred:** Is that it?

> **Nora:** I can't say for certain, as the application process may vary.

**Fred:** What do I do now?

> **Nora:** We'll be in touch if we want to move forward. In the meantime,
> you can check your application status anytime at candidate home account.

**Fred:** Can I close this chat window?

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, I don't currently have an answer for that question.
> I encourage you to explore our career site to learn more about Nordstrom,
> or you can ask me any other questions you may have.

**Fred:** Have I completed my application? Is this all I have to do
at this point in time?

> **Nora:** ...you can check that anytime in your account. If you have any
> other questions, I'm happy to help!

**Fred:** Tell me I am hired?

> **Nora:** Unfortunately, I can't provide an answer to that specific
> question. Please don't hesitate to ask any other questions.

**Fred:** Close chat.

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, I don't currently have an answer for that question.
> I encourage you to explore our career site to learn more about Nordstrom,
> or you can ask me any other questions you may have.

**Fred:** Bye.

> **Nora:** It's been a pleasure chatting with you! 😊 Wishing you all the
> best. Take care and have a wonderful day ahead!

**Fred:** Bye

> **Nora:** It's been a pleasure chatting with you! 😊 Wishing you all the
> best. Take care and have a wonderful day ahead!

**Fred:** Are you still here?

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, I don't currently have an answer for that question.
> I encourage you to explore our career site to learn more about Nordstrom,
> or you can ask me any other questions you may have.

**Fred:** Ok bye

> **Nora:** Bye! Have a wonderful day ahead! 😊

**Fred:** Hello still here?

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, I don't currently have an answer for that question.
> I encourage you to explore our career site to learn more about Nordstrom,
> or you can ask me any other questions you may have.

**Fred:** What is 2+2?

> **Nora:** I'm sorry, I don't currently have an answer for that question.
> I encourage you to explore our career site to learn more about Nordstrom,
> or you can ask me any other questions you may have.

**Fred:** Ok

> **Nora:** No problem at all!

---
*Powered by Paradox*

Note: responses marked with "<<" were option selections and not free form text

Who thought this was a good user experience for job applications? Paradox.ai did. A workday company.

To their credit the terms of use is a quick read with 7 short paragraphs each with their first sentence in bold. This is the full terms I accepted to chat with Nora:

By using this chat, please note the following: 

- **Your use of this chat is voluntary.** The information you share may be
  viewed, used and retained by Nordstrom and our trusted third-party partners
  to help answer your questions about careers at Nordstrom, provide
  location-based job listings, and support the platform. Your chat may be
  transferred to and stored on servers located in the United States. To learn
  more, please see our Careers Privacy Policy.

- **This chat does not make final hiring decisions.** It helps collect and
  input information that may be used by Nordstrom in the employment process.
  While this tool uses artificial intelligence to provide you with helpful
  information, all employment decisions are made by people.

- **All responses are general and informational.** As a chat assistant, this
  assistant can't speak on behalf of Nordstrom or change the terms of our
  policies or hiring practices. Note that responses could contain errors.

- **Please don't share confidential or sensitive personal information.** That
  includes things like your Social Security number, financial details,
  proprietary data, or any information about medical conditions or
  disabilities. If you have questions about accommodations or any special
  circumstances related to employment, please only provide those details to
  our hiring team or Employee Contact Center directly.

- **Your application is subject to additional terms and conditions, including
  the Dispute Resolution Program.** When you apply through Nordstrom, you are
  consenting to our Dispute Resolution Program and additional T&Cs, which
  will be presented as a part of the application.

- **This page is protected by reCAPTCHA** and the Google Privacy Policy and
  Terms of Service apply.

- **For fraud prevention**, reCAPTCHA analyzes limited technical and interaction
  data (e.g., IP, device/browser details, cookies, and mouse/typing signals).
  See Nordstrom's Careers Privacy Policy for details.

As a line cook, here is my laundry list of complaints regarding this dark pattern infested procedure.

We therefore have a system that has increased the friction in its primary purpose by virtue of being a non-standard introduction, and by it being an objectively worse system: by narcissistically focusing on its own “performance” first, not performing (by reading the resume uploaded), requiring basic control flow logic (giving no indication of process completion), having strictly greater time spent in input (seriously, guys, not everything has to be a chat). In the academic world we would call this a Regression.

—

As an investigative journalist I have tried very hard not to pass judgements and present the facts as they appear, letting you, dear reader, to draw your conclusions and engage in a healthy debate. I will make good on my promise though, here is the full unedited cut:

Hahaha. HAHAHA.

Of course I use an ad-blocker, and with it enabled the chat widget is bypassed entirely - as in it doesn’t load at all. And clicking on apply leads me to a new tab for the workday application page. I happened to come across the above flow as I was applying for a job via LinkedIn and it opened the in-app-browser (side note: how do I set it to open the main browser?) and I was unable to just not use the chat bot.

What, I told you the setup above was a bit contrived.

uBlock is the GOAT. Its easylist, with fanboy’s chat apps blocker brought sanity back to a world that had briefly lost it 3 months back. Most you guys would never even see this abomination as you would definitely be using some form of an ad-blocker. All hail uBlock.

There are many morals to this story and now I will tell them to you - I am indeed a very bad investigative journalist. We should potentially alienate companies where we could be working at, yet hold hope that they hire me to come fix their stuff because I can build better systems that would not be ridiculed by people on the internet. We should always use nuisance blockers to safeguard our attention, and by extension our time. We should find and roast bad implementations ruthlessly because that is what the great Charles Darwin said is good for our evolution and companies love to survive and adapt.

#ai #investigation #job-hunt #rant